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Concept of Love

Love seems to have taken new connotations in our State with reports of spurned men hacking and killing the people they claim to be ‘in love’ with. Makes one wonder what brand of love they believe in, probably the glorified insecure patriarchal version of self-love. What else would make a man kill a woman he claims to love… the fact is, he never really did love her, he loved the concept of her, the idea of someone like her belonging to him, to make him feel good about his insecure self. The idea of love has become so warped in our society, because of the way we think. When educational institutions have ridiculous rules that prohibit girls and boys from speaking to each other, then sickness like this is bound to rise. It’s basic science, opposites attract and trying to nullify this effect by erecting barriers and preventing the sexes from getting to know each other and familiarise as friends is wrong on so many levels. It’s incredibly ironic that educational institutes don’t seem to realise this. There have been articles saying that the current movie trend is to blame for this, that could be true but the fact is art imitates life and not vice versa, so whatever is portrayed on screen is an extension of life as we know it here, in this convoluted society we seem to be living in.

Love has to regain its original meaning and we learn quite early in catechism classes that God is love and vice versa, and this takes on profound meaning as we grow up and understand the concept of love. The basic essence of love is to be set free, that’s what the heavenly Father did, created us and gave us free will to make our own choices, while never ceasing to love us. That’s how love actually feels, it sets you free, free to learn and figure out yourself. You can’t force love on someone, you can only love someone unconditionally and hope that things work out, and if they don’t you still continue loving them and hope that they are happy. Love will always find its way back to you, if you seek it in its purest form, and when it does you’ll realise that your initial idea of love was so childlike, juvenile. In any case, if you just love with no conditions then the other person tends to grow in love. A classic example would be the case of Zacchaeus perched up in a tree, Jesus just wanted to hang out with him and this created a flutter in the community. Everybody knew Zacchaeus was unscrupulous but Jesus as was His nature, did not judge or lay down dictums, instead He just loved and Zacchaeus changed by his own accord. That’s the redeeming power of love, it can only bring about good. And taking a cue from Genesis:

Woman was created from the rib of man
She was not made from his head to boss him
Nor from his feet, to be trampled upon.
She was made from his side, to be equal to him
From under his arm to be protected by him
From near his heart to be loved by him.
― Matthew Henry

Anything otherwise that is degenerative in nature cannot be termed love; love can only make you evolve into a better person.

(Something I wrote for the church magazine)

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